Fearing Complacency

The truth is I’ve typed, deleted, and then retyped this very blog at least three times now…. I write something, but then read it and take all my words back. I didn’t plan anything for tonight’s blog, partially because I’ve been busy with finals approaching and partially because I really just have no clue what I really want to write about. Yes, there are many thoughts racing around in my head, but they are currently so jumbled up that there’s no way I can clearly communicate them to you tonight. However, you can be sure someday soon I’ll find the words to share those thoughts with you, because trust me, I’ve been thinking a lot lately.

But for tonight, what I want to share with you briefly is a quote that has been haunting my mind recently:

“Our greatest fear as individuals and as a church should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter.” –Tim Kizziar

I don’t know about you, but I honestly do have that fear. I fear all the time that my priorities aren’t straight and my life is going in a direction where the things I accomplish don’t really matter. I fear that I’m not doing enough to further God’s Kingdom. I fear that complacency will eat me alive and I’ll die without doing what God put me on the earth to do. I also fear that the worldwide Christian church isn’t doing it’s job. I fear that as a church we’ve become complacent and settled with prayer and hoping that God will fix things. But aren’t we the people He called to do something about the things we wish could be fixed?

My absolute biggest pet peeve in life is when Christians don’t do anything to further the Kingdom of God. They live in the world and of the world, but don’t live any differently than the lost people around them. And, my biggest fear is that I often am one of those Christians that sits back and waits for someone else to start furthering God’s Kingdom.

Proverbs 1:32

“For the waywardness of the naïve will kill them. And the complacency of the fools will destroy them.”

 We can’t let complacency destroy us. And as Matthew West says in the song linked below, it's time for us to do something.  

Do Something

My Light Bulb Moment

On September 21st, my blog was titled "Still Fighting." The very first sentence I wrote was this:

"I'm still waiting for the light bulb to go off when I finally become grateful for everything I've been going through."

Two months later, today on November 23rd I can finally say, I am incredibly grateful for what I went through this semester. I won't go as far as to say that I wouldn't have had things go differently if it were really up to me, but I will say I'm glad God has a plan in everything and I do believe it is always better than mine.

Looking back on the semester, I've learned some very valuable lessons that I wouldn't have learned better in other circumstances. To summarize, here are 5.

1- I am stronger than I think I am. 
Yes, it is a bold statement, but it is true. I have a tendency to be very self-critical and this semester has opened my eyes to the strength within me. At the same time, none of that strength came from my own abilities.
"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." -Isaiah 40:29
Although I can say I've never felt more physically and emotionally weak in my life, I've also never felt God's strength and power more clearly in my life. Which leads to the 2nd thing I've learned:

2- God is so much stronger than I've ever given him credit for. 
I've heard and read about God's power and the amazing mountains He's moved in people's lives, but I've never really felt like I've experienced it until this year. God moved mountains in my life. Although I'm sure most college students consider giving up quite often, I reached a point where I honestly was considering dropping out... I knew it wasn't what God wanted me to do, but I kept praying and praying that God would give me another option at least for the year. He didn't really give me another option, but He did stick with me every step of the way this semester on the road that He kept me on. Even though things got much worse before they got better and I often doubted, God still moved mountains.

3-You don't really have to have faith that God will move mountains until you realize how many mountains there are in your life that actually need to be moved.  
It's easy to be prideful, to be complacent, and to feel safe right where you are in life, but I'm warning you right now... If you ever feel that way, you better brace up because God might shake things up real soon. Don't fall asleep on Him unless you're ready to be woken up.
I'd like to believe I was strong and had real faith in God before this semester, but it was never really tested. I didn't see the mountains in my life... Mountains because of doubt from wondering what God's plan for me is... Mountains from developing insecurities and not feeling worthy of God's love... Mountains from fear.. And etc. There were so many mountains that I was oblivious to. I was sitting on top of those mountains when God started to move them, and that's why I experienced a lot of pain because I had to fall all the way from the top to the bottom to actually see that the mountains were being moved. But through the pain and the healing process, my faith was strengthened and mountains were moved.

4- Don't expect God to satisfy you with worldly things. 
Why is it that I ever expected God to satisfy me with worldly things? I always subconsciously had that mindset that having faith that God will provide meant that I would be satisfied with everything I wanted or thought I needed in this world. I thought if God healed me, then I would be satisfied. If God let me play volleyball again, then I would be satisfied. If God helped me get good grades, then I would be satisfied. If God could help me pay for my college and everything else that adds up, then I would be satisfied. If God would give me a good guy, then I would be satisfied. If God would give me lots of friends and surround me with support, then I would be satisfied.
But even if and when God gave me or will give me those things, I'm not going to be content and satisfied in them for long. Although there are blessings God gives us through this world, there is nothing more satisfying than the way He can fulfill your soul.
"For He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul He fills with good things." -Psalm 107:9

5- Never doubt the influence you have in this world.
There was a period of time at the beginning of this semester when I highly considered giving up my blog. I wasn't really sure if enough people were even reading it, and if they were reading, I didn't feel like God's Word was really speaking through what I wrote. Although I wanted to personally inspire people, I never wanted this blog to be more about me than about God himself. I didn't just want people to see my own thoughts, but to learn about God, who He is, and who He can be to us.
The blog that I had set out to be my very last ended up getting 3 times as many views as all my posts normally do. It may seem like something small, but I honestly felt God telling me that I couldn't stop writing. It may not be changing people's lives, or changing the world, but it may very well be planting small seeds of hope... Even if it is just in one person's heart, it is worth it.
God can use you, and He will use you to do great things in His Kingdom if you let him. Don't disqualify yourself from serving in God's Kingdom because you don't think you're good enough for his work.
"For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." -Ephesians 3:14-21

And with that being said, I can say that yes, the light bulb did go off. I realize why I went through everything I did. I pray I learned and grew in the ways that God wanted me to, and I also pray that He gives me another wake up call again when I need it.

Takeaways for you:
- You are much stronger than you think you are if you let God's strength build within you.
- Look for the mountains in your life and expect God to move them.
-Have faith that the pain God allows you to go through is molding you into the person He wants you to be.
-Don't look to worldly things for contentment that comes from God alone.
-Don't disqualify yourself from being a part of God's grander plan to further His Kingdom.

Strength Will Rise

 My semester is finally wrapping up, and it's probably been one of the most challenging semesters of my entire life. But it's also been one of the most rewarding. People say all the time that beauty comes from pain and that none of our struggles are pointless. No matter how many times you hear it, you don't really realize the truth in those words until you experience it for yourself. This year I did and I learned so many lessons about myself, about who God is to me, and about who I can be to others. 

As much as I love theme parks, this semester has been a roller coaster ride that I wouldn't have waited in line for. Just when I thought things were looking up so many different times, something else happened to knock me back down again. From physical pain, to emotional hurt, to loneliness and stress and even depression, it's been quite the year. 

So many unexpected things happened that I couldn't control at all. There were days this semester that I think I've felt more alone and hopeless than I've ever felt in my entire life. It isn't easy going to college out of state miles away from your family and some of your closest friends--especially when your world slowly seems to start falling apart.

But as soon as everything I held onto so tightly in this world started crashing down, I learned how to really hold on to something so much stronger. 

"Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord."

"But those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;

   they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint." -Isaiah 40:31

Anything you rely on in this world will fail you. Failure on earth is inevitable.

If you rely on people, they will fail you.  

If you put your trust in people alone, you might be lied to and hurt.

If you have faith in someone, they might not always come through. 

If you base your strength on your own talents, you're going to ultimately feel weak. 

If you base your happiness on success, people, sports, etc., your happiness will very quickly fade away. 

If you put all your time, energy, and resources into gaining worldly treasures, you'll feel empty. 

But strength will rise as we wait on God's name, on his power, on his mercy, on his love, and on his grace.

So what are you holding on to? Is it success? Is it someone? Or, something you're putting above God? 

Because maybe it is time to let that go and take hold of God for real. Or rather, let God take ahold of you. 

It's like a tug o' war game.... God is holding one of your hands, but you are reaching for everything else with the other hand. For some reason, our human minds think that once we reach that "everything else," we'll be alright. Even though it might seem that way for awhile, we'll lose it and have to keep on reaching and reaching for more.

But how beautiful of a thing it could be if we stop reaching elsewhere, and let God take both of our hands instead of just one. God is constant and never changes, so why choose to rely on anything else and not him? 

I have to tell myself so many times in the day: Just stop. Seriously, stop holding on and just be held in the hands of a Father who loves you more than you can conceivably imagine. 

"God is not human, that He should lie, not a human being, that He should change his mind. Does He speak and then not act? Does He promise and not fulfill?" -Numbers 23:19

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." -James 1:17

Never Stop Needing

It's November 9th and I'm still in my knee brace. As much as I'm ready to just throw this thing out the window, I still need it. 

Even though I feel like my strength in my leg is strong enough and I would be fine without a brace, the truth is I would be at high risk without it.

Kind of like how I think at times when things are going great that I don't need God in my life, but reality is I'm at very high risk without God. 

The first few months of this semester were definitely a struggle, but I was able to see how much I needed God in my life. 

Now that things are looking up and I'm feeling stronger, it's easy to forget how much I need God.

Although I don't miss all the pain and the struggles I've ever been through, I miss how much I realized I needed God in my life. I miss how easy it was to see that I was completely incapable of living life on my own. 

The simple truth is when we're doing alright in life, we forget about the God that has given us this "alright" life. 

No matter where you are at in life: struggling, almost through the struggle, or having the best day ever, I pray that you never forget how much you need God even when things seem to be going well. 

You always hear testimonies and stories of great faith, and often that faith is shown through trusting in God in the struggles. But how cool would it be if people could see your faith when your praising God, and still showing how much you need him even when life is great? 

So yes, one day I hope I will become strong enough to get rid of the knee brace, but I pray that I never think I'm too strong on my own. I've focused a lot lately about finding God in the struggles, however, it is just as important to not lose God when the struggles go away. From beginning to end, God is working in every season of your life. So in every season, remember how much He has done for you, how much He is doing for you, and how much He will do for you, and never lose sight of how much we need him. 

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end." -Ecclesiastes 3:11

Choosing Jesus

Some choices aren't a one and done kind of deal. Some choices you will make every single day of your life. Like choosing to get out of bed in the morning and go to class (something I actually did today), or picking out what you're going to wear, or choosing what to eat in the cafe for lunch (always pizza by the way). 

The choice to follow Jesus isn't a one and done kind of deal either. A relationship with Christ is something you have to choose each and every day. 

1 Corinthians 11:1-2 

"Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ. Now I commend you because you remember me in everything and maintain the traditions even as I delivered them to you."

Do you remember Christ in everything you do? Do you wake up with the goal in mind to make every action and thought something that will draw you closer to God? 

Imitate Christ. Better yet, choose to imitate Christ. Not once or twice, but all the time. 

A conscious choice everyday to follow Jesus is so much more meaningful than a quick prayer once and maybe every couple months to "make sure you're still saved." 

Whether or not you realize it, you choose to follow something or someone each day. You might say you're a follower of Jesus, but are you truly consciously following? 

"Those who aren't following Jesus aren't his followers. It's that simple. Followers follow, and those who don't follow aren't followers. To follow Jesus means to follow Jesus into a society where justice rules, where love shapes everything. To follow Jesus means to take up his dream and work for it." -Scot McKnight