After the Waiting

The following blog is one I wrote and originally posted at the very beginning of this year. Waiting and wondering is something I struggled with for a very long time. I wanted to know that God actually had an answer for the trouble I was facing. And, I didn't want to go through the aching of waiting. What I didn't see back then, however, is that one day there would be a time that comes after the waiting. 

As I read through this blog now, I can't help but feel so grateful for the months of waiting and wondering I went through. It completely broke me down and crushed my spirit, at first. But then it led me to a place of complete faith in God's plan. It led me to a place where I was able to jump all in to what God was doing in my life, instead of tentatively getting my toes wet. This is not to say the process wasn't painful. It was incredibly difficult. Not many people actually enjoy waiting. 

But don't be discouraged by the silence of God or the quietness of the empty waiting room you're sitting in. Even though it may seem pointless, there is purpose in the waiting... 

There is something about the silence of God that seems like an answer louder than any other answer. You sit in that waiting room, desperately awaiting a ‘yes’ in some shape or form. This waiting room may be one of the greatest challenges you will ever face. The answer from God may be the second greatest challenge you will ever face. It’s the anticipation, expectation, and the waiting that tests and builds your faith in a deliberately uncomfortable manner.

Is it possible that sometimes the answer we’re waiting for, is the waiting itself? Is God’s answer a simple silence?

Because as I sit in this waiting room, sending up my prayers and my tears, I keep hearing a resounding silence. But I’ve always believed with the most fervent faith that God HAS to answer prayers. That is who He is—Our Father, the Most High, the One True God, who yet hears our gentle whispers, our shouts, our cries, all of our prayers—and answers. 

“Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear.” –Isaiah 65:24

“Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and He will say: Here am I.” –Isaiah 58:9

Yet if God answers when we call, why is it that all I seem to keep hearing is silence? I’m still in this waiting room. I’m still hearing silence. But if God always answers, then maybe I missed the answer. Or, maybe He just hasn’t answered me yet. Or quite possibly, maybe the answer is just silence. 

Sometimes, it seems like a simple ‘no’ would be a better answer than the waiting. Waiting is hard. Being patient, and trusting God’s timing in the silence, quite honestly is one of the greatest challenges I’ve faced in my faith. 

I don’t want silence—I want a set in stone answer.

Yet, God answers…

Silence and waiting. 

It’s as if God is gently saying, 

“Just wait, you’re not quite ready yet.” 

Because maybe if He is saying that, then right now is the chance for me to grow, to lean on Him, and to prepare myself for whatever is in store for me. 

The simple truth is we don’t know when God will answer. We don’t know how He’ll answer. But we do know He will answer, and whenever He does answer, we have to be prepared. 

Because what if that answer is “to go?” What if that answer is a yes and we’ve been sitting around just waiting for God to say it? 

Don’t waste the times of waiting. Don’t ignore the silences. 

I can’t say for sure, because God speaks differently to different people. However, I know in my own life that the times of silence and waiting have been huge periods of growth in my life. When it’s all said and done, maybe it was in that growth, that God answered. 

So as you sit in the waiting room, don't doubt what God is doing. Instead, let the waiting room break you down, and get rid of everything that causes you to doubt and to fear. Let it build your faith, let it build your trust, and let it prepare you for whatever work God is going to do in your life next."