A Time for Joy

As the semester nears its end, not only have I been doing more homework than I think I’ve ever done in my entire life, but I’ve also been doing a lot of reflection on my college career. This is my last semester of classes before starting student teaching next year, which seems absolutely crazy to me. I planned on being in college for 4 years, playing college volleyball for 4 years, and then student teaching my last semester in 2018. Lesson learned: Things don’t always go as planned. But, what is really crazy to think is that these few years that have been my entire life and have shaped me in so many different ways, are actually just a smaller fraction of a way bigger picture.

However, you know how one thing people always tell you before you leave for college is that you WILL change so much? Well, those people are actually right. I am in no way the same person I was three years ago. In many ways, it’s not just about college. It’s about growing up and leaving home. It’s about meeting new people and going new places. It’s about all the experiences and circumstances we go through over a span of time that ultimately shape and change who we are. Even though these college years only make up a few of the total years of my life so far, they’ve been fundamental into shaping me into the person I’m going to be for the rest of my life.

         It’s one of those cliché things to talk about, yet it is so, so true: every experience we go through, the people we meet, the places we go, the things we fail at, the things we’re successful at, and the choices we make, in one way or another change who we are. Still, we don’t really think about it. We don’t really like the idea of change. We make choices left and right, oftentimes without considering the impact it might have on our lives. We travel to places for the experience, but we don’t realize the lessons we might learn along the way. We create relationships with people, but we don’t think about how those people can affect our lives.

Be aware of how your circumstances are shaping your life—for the better, or for the worse.

         I 100% believe that no matter what the circumstance is, people have the choice to let it change them for the better, or for the worse. When you’re ignorant to how something might be shaping you, you’re missing out on an opportunity to change your life, and possibly someone else’s life for the better.

         In all seriousness, three years ago I was a negative Nancy. It didn’t matter at all how many different things I had going for me. I always saw the glass half empty. I always looked for the negative things, and literally found reasons to complain out of thin air. Even when I put on a happy face and seemed to be doing just fine on the outside, I was probably thinking something completely different on the inside. That was just who I was. Then I got to college, and nothing really seemed to change at first. Actually, it got a lot worse. I complained even more. I never slept because I was constantly creating problems in my own head. I stressed out over everything, way more than was actually necessary. I even almost transferred after my first year, or thought about taking time off, but didn’t because I felt like God was telling me that I needed to stay right where I was.

         So, I stayed. But, the very next semester is when I got hurt and had my first knee surgery. After that, absolutely nothing got better. If you’ve followed my blog and/or know my experience, you know that this healing process has been a long, long road. But it’s not just about the physical healing process I went through. I’ve also been going through a healing process in my relationship with Christ, in my own heart, and in my mind.

         It took me being broken down into utter helplessness to finally realize that there is a much bigger picture beyond the scope of the things that I can see. Complaining and facing everything with fear, doubt, and worry never got me anywhere. In fact, it made me miserable. I don’t imagine I was a ray of sunshine for people to be around and hang out with either.

         It sure would have been nice if I would have learned that lesson a lot quicker than I did (like maybe before having four knee surgeries, having to give up volleyball, and having many of my plans turned upside within a span of two years). But in all honesty, “it’s chill.” It is an incredible feeling to finally be able to let the pain of the past go and move forward. Of course, I still complain. Of course the glass is empty from time to time. Of course I still get frustrated with my knee pain. Of course I still wish I could play even just one more volleyball game and end on a good note. But, I’ve been working on seeing the bigger picture and finding joy in life beyond my circumstances.

         Now, I love to crack jokes and make people laugh. I love to be kind. I love to smile at random strangers, in hopes that maybe a smile was exactly what they needed.

         Now, it irritates me when I hear people constantly complaining. It bothers me when someone doesn’t ever look for the positives in their situation. But, it also reminds me that I still have a tendency to be that person—and I don’t want to be that person.

         Now, I constantly catch myself complaining and try to stop myself before I let it get the best of me. I take time to pray without asking, and simply thank God for all the good things instead.

Although I'm a different person now than I was before college, I'm still not where I want to be. 

 Life is way too short to complain about everything. It’s too short not to enjoy every moment we can. We’re way too blessed by a God full of grace, love, and forgiveness to live in misery.

         I may not know everything that you are going through or have gone through in the past. I don’t know the circumstances that you’re facing or understand the depth of pain those things have put you through. I can’t say I’ve experienced everything that you have. But, I can say that we both have the same God. Whether or not you believe in Him, God is good and He loves you unconditionally.

         Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to diminish or make small the tragedies in your life. Those tragedies are important. Those things that broke your heart and soul are important. The burdens you carry, the pain you feel, and the suffering you go through are all important. There’s a time and season for it all. I simply hope to remind you that in every season and trial, we still are called to be joyful. God’s will for our lives is not to be miserable. It’s to seek Him, and find joy in Him beyond our circumstances. Don’t waste your life being miserable. Don’t let your circumstances define your joy.

“Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Selfless

“So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.

 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”

 —Philippians 2:1-8

There has been a lot going on in the world these last couple weeks, as I’m sure there has been in many of your lives. This week we also had the chance to remember the most selfless act in all of human history, and how it changed the world forever. As we celebrate Christ’s sacrifice on the cross and His resurrection, I’ve been focusing a lot on the selflessness of His sacrifice. In a world where selfishness has taken triumph, the death on the cross is a piercing reminder of what it means to humble yourself and consider other lives as more important than your own.

One thought I’ve been thinking on a regular basis lately is politely put, “Why are people so selfish?” When push comes to shove, everyone tends to look after themselves. It’s all about me, my interests, my life, my struggles, and my joys. This is definitely myself included. People are selfish. I am selfish. But then I picture the cross, and see Jesus as He was breathing some of His very last breaths saying, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).

As mankind was doing one of the most selfish things we could do by nailing Jesus to a cross, Jesus was doing the exact opposite of selfish. He was speaking and acting with our best interests in mind—He was selfless. He was praying for our forgiveness, as He was the one being wronged. Jesus’ death on the cross was the most selfless event in history. He was righteous and innocent, but yet killed in one of the most horrific and gruesome ways possible—all so selfish people could have the chance to live. Jesus was completely and utterly selfless.

It isn’t natural for people to be selfless. It isn’t always fun, glorious, praised, or noticed. But it’s what Christ did as a human, and it’s what our world needs more of. You don’t have to run around handing one hundred dollar bills left and right to every person you see, you don’t have to uproot your entire life. It could be as simple as looking for ways in which you can be selfless in your own circle.

Offer to give someone homework help. While you’re driving, let that person who is trying to change lanes in traffic pull into your lane right in front of you. Wait for other people to grab their food first. Don’t choose the best seat in the house. Let others go first, and put yourself last. Be willing to give. Be willing to share your time. Be willing to sacrifice. Whatever it may be, find a way to be selfless today.

Chosen

“Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth.

But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.

 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: ‘Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.’” –1 Corinthians 1:26-31

         My dad sent me this verse this morning, and I read it before I even got out of bed. It honestly gave me the chills as I read it, because it's such a crazy thought to wrap my head around. Why would God ever choose me??? Yet the truth is that we’re only qualified to serve in God’s Kingdom because we’ve been chosen to serve in God’s Kingdom, not because of anything we’ve done or any human standards. With those thoughts in mind, I cranked this poem out today. Never, ever forget that even in your worst moments, you still have been made with a purpose and for a purpose. God wants to use you in His Kingdom--let that simple thought remind you just how much you are loved. 

Chosen

I’ve been chosen.

You chose me before I even knew I could be chosen.

Before I could walk,

You numbered my days.

You set a path before me,

You cleared the way.

You chose me before I even knew I could be chosen.

You chose me even when I was foolish.

Poor choices and mistake after mistake,

Yet You saw potential,

You offered me grace.

In my absence of wisdom, you still made a way.

You chose me even when I was foolish.

You chose me on my weakest day.

Wounded and crushed,

I was defeated and giving up.

Faithless and bruised,

But You still saw someone who could be used.

You chose me on my weakest day.

You chose me when my faith was small.

Disappointed and doubting,

My mind was racing with questions when You found me.

Yet You told me not to worry,

Because even a mustard seed could move the mountains before me.

You chose me when my faith was small.

You chose me out of ashes.

Sitting in guilt, shame, and sin,

Giving in to temptations over and over again.

But You threw out my sin,

And made me worthy and guiltless.

You chose me out of ashes.

You chose me when I didn’t choose You.

I lost sight of my priorities, and

Tossed Your Word aside.

I was caught up in idolatry,

Yet You still said, “You are mine.”

You chose me when I didn’t choose You.

I’ve been chosen.

I have never known a love like this.

So unconditional, so pure, and so relentless.

As I run away, You pull me back near You.

Even as I don’t consistently pursue You.
I’ve been chosen.
I am chosen.