Forks in the Road

It has been a pretty crazy week for me. I encountered some big unexpected events, to say the least. And although I don't believe that most of it was fair, I have to believe that God is in control.

Two weeks ago I would've told you with confidence what my plans were for at least the next year, but now all of sudden I have absolutely no clue. I've reached a fork in the road, and I'm not sure what my next step is. I know I can't be the only one. If I were to ask you if you've ever felt or if maybe you are even currently feeling very overwhelmed by difficult decisions, I'm guessing the answer would be yes.

Part of what makes many life decisions so difficult is that I really want to go and do and be where God wants me. Honestly, how can I really even be sure?

However, maybe sometimes we look at the big picture too small.

Maybe God has a specific place He wants you to be, or maybe He wants you to serve him right where you are. Perhaps we focus too much on the when and the where, instead of just doing and being where God has us in the moment.

A year ago, for some odd reason I thought I had the rest of my life almost figured out.... Strangely enough, I didn't. And I never will.

In Proverbs 3, it says that if we acknowledge God, He will set out a straight path for us. I don’t think this necessarily means it’s going to be a completely straight or easy path. I think it just means that when we choose to follow God, He will clear those paths alongside us. Those paths could have quite a few forks in the road along with masses of questions. Actually, even a life without God comes with questions and confusion. The difference is that when you follow God's path, the destination comes with a much better reward. Even the journey has continuous rewards and benefits along the way. As you take the steps to follow God’s path, He will straighten it out as you go.

 I personally get so caught up in my future and what steps God wants me to take, that I’m not living in the current moment for Him. If I spend right now taking small steps to serve God, and then continue to do so every day, then my future inevitably does involve serving and following God—No matter where I am.

One of my very first blogs, “Wondering about Wandering,” was on this same topic. If you didn’t get a chance to read it, you can check it out here: http://pocketfulofpooty.blogspot.com/2015/01/wondering-about-wandering.html

 The ultimate truth is that I’m obviously still wondering about wandering and I will be for the rest of my life. But by the grace of God, I never have to wonder that God is with me here in this moment. I never have to wonder where my final destination is. I never have to wonder that God is going down the path with me.

As painful as it is for me to say it, embrace the forks in the road. Perhaps the fork in the road is a wake-up call. Or God is trying to reach out to you. These forks are simply just more opportunities and doors that God has decided to open up for you. So embrace those forks, and explore the doors that God has opened, but don’t forget that you can choose to follow God wherever you are right here in this moment.

“And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher. And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.” –Isaiah 30:20-21

Completely Loved

Psalm 86:15

“But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.”

The other day I was trying to fix a broken Wii... Trying is the key word there, because I had absolutely no clue what I was doing. Despite the multiple YouTube videos and FAQ pages that seemed promising, the Wii remains broken. Not to mention, I attempted to take the Wii apart and who knows if I'll be able to actually put it back together.

There was a brief moment, however, when I thought “Hey, at least I can write a blog about this.” I planned on writing about how we are broken people that need a bigger power to come and fix us. But then, I realized there is a much bigger picture.

If we put all the emphasis on God being the fixer upper, we're missing out on the fact that He loved us even before fixing our brokenness. He doesn’t need to fix us to love us; He loves us and heals us because He loves us. I know I've written so, so much about how deeply God loves each and every individual no matter what their circumstances are; but this is really a huge thing.

We are incomplete, but completely loved by God.

He loves us so much that our brokenness is just a grain of sand in comparison to his love for us. He doesn't love us because we're perfect. Or even because we're broken. He simply just loves us. There are no conditions, no only if's, just love. And it's the love of God that little by little, as it washes over us, makes us feel less broken. It's that love that cleanses us, mends us, and fixes the brokenness deep within. It’s that love that we so often forget about, but could dramatically change our lives if we embrace it, repeat it, and share it with the rest of the world.

“Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God's love encompasses us completely. ... He loves every one of us, even those who are flawed, rejected, awkward, sorrowful, or broken.”

― Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Faking It Is Not Making It

       Fake it till you make it… These are some words that, honestly, I have come to live by. I don’t like showing my weakness. I try and make it seem like I have it all together all the time. But the truth is, like most people, I have what seems like inescapable, unexplainable pain dwelling within me. Because I can’t even understand a lot of the pain myself, I oftentimes don’t even attempt to confide in my friends or family. This “faking it till you make it” thing works pretty well for a while. But there’s a pain that slowly creeps into my mind at random times of the day or when I’m not busy and I let myself start thinking too much. And then, I break. After trying to appear strong for so long, the walls come crashing down and all my hurt and pain comes pouring out. There’s an immediate relief in letting go, but there is a better way…

God, is not a “fake it till you make it” kind of being. He wants you just as you are: imperfect, unashamed, and brokenly beautiful. In one of my favorite books, Crazy Love, Francis Chan writes this:

    “People who are obsessed (completely consumed with God and his Word) 
     are raw with God; they do not attempt to mask the ugliness of their sins
     or their failures.Obsessed people don’t put it on for God; He is their
     safe place, where they can be at peace.”

You don’t have to fake it till you make it with God. You don’t have to put on the masks to hide your pain or anything else for that matter. You can be 100% real with Him and He won’t love you any less. If you truly desire to draw closer to God, you have to quit hiding behind the walls you think are protecting yourself. Jesus came to this world to bridge the gap between us and God; so why build up walls to distance ourselves again? Break down before God. Let him see your hurt and all your deepest, darkest thoughts. The peace that God so desires to give you often comes through your vulnerability.

Vulnerability is a battle, but peace is the victory. It’s ironic, really, that there is peace in breaking down. Stop distancing yourself from God by pretending you’re okay. When you pretend, you may subconsciously be saying that you don’t feel like you need God. But I can tell you this, I need God more than anything.

“You are life, every breath….You're the heart beating in my chest I breathe out and breathe You in…I need You more than oxygen” -Lincoln Brewster—Oxygen

            We all need God more than anything. So take down your walls and break down before our God who is waiting to build you back up His way. 

Beauty Isn't Vain

I hear some people say that beauty is vain

But I would have to disagree

Let’s take a journey

Let me show you what I mean

She was 8 years old

Her stage 4 cancer had come back

Her hair was gone, her face was pale

She was too weak to even laugh

But when she heard about the newly sick patient

The one across the hall

She managed to escape her bed

And greet the crying girl

She held her hand and simply smiled

For she knew she could relate

Now tell me that’s not beautiful?

Is beauty really vain?

He was 24 that year

The year he married his bride

With their first child coming on the way

He was soon deployed

1 year later, he stepped off that plane

American soil at last

And there he fell onto his knees

As he saw the love of his life

He ran to her and tears were shed

As he held his little girl for the very first time

Now tell me that’s not beautiful?

Is beauty really vain?

60 years together now

He never left her side

He would do absolutely anything for her

He would even give his life

And that day he did as an organ donor

It was all he had to give

He lost his life after the accident

But it allowed his wife to live

Now tell me that’s not beautiful?

Is beauty really vain?

Giving, sharing, relating, and loving

Don’t tell me these are vain

Beauty isn’t just appearance

Beauty is not vain

You have to look really deep to see it

But I promise you it’s there

Look in the actions, look in the soul

For beauty exists there