Hello fellow
blog followers! I’m back! I stepped away for a while for a few different
reasons that I will summarize briefly:
1-I
needed a break to feed myself spiritually.
2- I
didn’t want blogging and sharing my heart and what God’s been teaching me to
become a chore.
3- I was
finishing up college classes, coaching, and first-year teaching all at once—so
things got crazy.
Now, I
feel like I’ve learned so much this last year that I quite honestly am not sure
I will be able to put it into words.
I’ve had
a few followers asking when I would post again, so tonight I will just share a
little about how God brought me back to Him this year.
College
was not easy for me. For those that have followed my blog over the last few
years, you’ve probably caught onto that. I went through a lot of pain, a lot of
doubt, some depression, and a lot of questions. Physical pain that led to
emotional and mental pain. Doubt in myself, in others, and even in God’s plan.
And questions about who I was, and what God was up to in my life.
It wasn’t that I was doubting that God had a plan,
but I was doubting that it would work out for good... at least for MY good. I
couldn’t understand why God’s plan wasn’t MY plan.
But as I
reflect on this past year, it could not be any clearer to me that all my years
of college and struggles were guiding me right here. I wholeheartedly believe
that if I wouldn’t have gone through some of the things I did, I would have
missed out on this entire year of teaching, coaching, and learning. I would
have missed out on an opportunity to serve, to love, to give hope to, and to
teach a group of amazing kiddos, who actually did the same exact things for me.
I would have missed out on working with the most amazing and supportive people
who pushed me, let me vent, and helped me grow. I would have missed out on a
year of learning that the dream I had when I was a little girl was not just a
dream, it was a God-given passion and calling.
I can
honestly remember all I ever wanted to be “when I grow up” was a teacher. Not a
princess, not a doctor, not a ballerina. I wanted to be a teacher (and a coach
or athlete actually). I can’t really explain why, other than it was a little
nudge God had given me. I know that now, but I didn’t know it then.
Now, it’s
halfway through my second year of teaching and I’ve had a chance to get
somewhat settled in. I’ve found some time to clear my head, clear my heart, and
reflect on the last year.
My first
year of teaching was crazy and challenging, but it was my lightbulb moment.
Things clicked. My pain made sense. My struggle made sense. My questions,
doubts, and heartbreaks made sense. My passion made sense.
Although
my future and so many things still seem unclear at times, what a blessing it
has been to finally see and experience a glimpse of God’s calling.
For so
long, I was trying to find a way for my plan to fit into God’s plan. I tried so
desperately to figure out exactly what God wanted me to do with my life and
where He wanted me to be. I’ve come to learn that I’m never really going to
know exactly where God wants me. However, I do know exactly who He has called
me to be.
He’s called me to love, to serve, and bring glory to
Him in every single moment—no matter how small that moment may be. That is a
calling I can do anywhere and in any moment.
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as
working for the Lord, not for human masters.”
- Colossians 3:23
Wherever
you find yourself in life right now, whether it’s drowning in pain and feeling
at rock bottom, walking in the valley, or cheering at the top of the mountain,
I pray you see God’s Hand in all of it. You may not be where you want to be,
but God can use you in any place and in any moment. Don’t get so hung up on a
roller coaster of details that you miss the small moments.
In the mysteries, miracles, and messes, God is
present and moving.
As we
come to the end of another year, take the time today to reflect and look for
even the simplest of ways God has moved in your life. It may not be immediately
visible to you, but I promise it’s there. God is constantly at work, and you
can come alongside Him wherever you are.