Big Plans

God didn’t call me to do some huge, world-changing thing. Maybe He didn’t call you to do some huge thing either. DON’T TAKE THAT THE WRONG WAY.

I oftentimes feel like I’m not doing enough. When I hear that “God has big plans” for my life, I tend to think it actually means something crazy. Something like becoming a professional athlete and having a positive influence in that field, saving tons of starving children, publishing an award winning novel that brings people to Christ, traveling the world and helping the needy, etc.

But maybe those “big plans” mean being a teacher in a classroom of only 13 students. Maybe those big plans mean buying a McDonald’s cheeseburger to give to the homeless guy on the same corner every week. Maybe those big plans mean doing the best I can to have a positive influence on the people around me in my life right now.

I know that I’ve written about this same topic before. But it’s something that I am constantly thinking about and having to remind myself.

It’s dangerous to always hear, “God has big plans for you.” Not because God doesn’t have a perfect plan, but because maybe that plan isn’t actually that “big” in our own eyes, which might leave us disappointed.

If I’m constantly trying to figure out what God’s big plans for my life are, I’m going to be distracted from the plans God is working out in my life right NOW.

This last year, I made the commitment to sponsor a little girl in the Dominican Republic through an organization called Compassion International. Getting to write letters back and forth to Esther has been one of the coolest things! And getting to meet her and spend the day with her was even more amazing.

A few weeks ago I had an opportunity to sponsor another child. In my head, I kept thinking something along the lines of, “Yes, I have to do it. The more children I can sponsor, the better.” There was also a part of me that thought that if I could just sponsor one more child, maybe I would be closer to completing those “big plans” God has for me. But in my heart, I realized something very different. It’s not that sponsoring another child would be a bad thing, but maybe right now devoting myself to sponsoring and writing to Esther (my current sponsor child) is what I’m called to do.  

I’ve made a commitment to myself that in the months to come, I’ll stop living to do more. And instead, I’ll start just living as I’m loved. It shouldn’t be about trying to do all these things that just might be a part of what God wants for my life. It should just be me living as someone who is unconditionally and wholly loved by God.

There’s a thin line between living to earn God’s love and living because we’re loved. Even if we know that God loves us as we are, I think it’s easy to fall into this idea that we should try to do as much as we can for Christ, even though we’ll never be able to repay Him for what He has done for us. Instead of living in this mindset, we have to remember that we are already loved completely and entirely, and could never be loved any more or any less.

We’re loved for who we are in Christ, not for anything that we’ve ever done or will ever do. So in the months to come, live like your loved. Don’t live to be loved. Don’t live, constantly chasing after all these “big plans” and opportunities. Live loved. Being right where you are, serving God where He has you right now, loving Him and loving people is the “big plan” God has for you.  

It doesn’t mean that you won’t ever do that huge thing you’ve been dreaming of doing. Maybe you will change thousands of lives. Maybe you will start a world-wide organization for children. But don’t let that be the reason that you’re living. Live because you’re loved.

Psalm 63:3

“Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you.”

Living as Loved

Sometimes I have to take a step back

Run the opposite way of everything I’m chasing

Turn around, be still, and embrace the waiting

I get so caught up in God’s big plan

That I forget that I live because I’m loved

I’m not living to be loved

As if knowing God’s plan isn’t already hard enough,

I try to shape His plan and make it more like my own

Only to see those plans swept away like weightless leaves in a flashflood

I always try to figure out exactly where God wants me

The mess of this confusing quest

Leaves me angry, confused, and upset

I spend so much time digging for answers

I end up running in circles when I could be dancing

Dancing in a love so whole and so real

Dancing in a love that has never required me to “do”

I could be chasing all the wrong things and God would still love me

I could be chasing all the right things and God would love me the same

His love isn’t dependent on the steps that I take

I get lost in the details, the what ifs, and what nows

When I could be getting lost in God’s radical love

I never ever have to live to be loved

I’m loved as I am and where I am so I live

Embracing Uncertainty

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans.” –Proverbs 16:3

So much has changed in a year. Last July, I remember spending all my time trying to get back in shape for volleyball. I was absolutely determined to play again, to get back on the court, and to be better than I was before. This July, I’m not training for volleyball at all. Now that I think about it, this is the first summer since 5^th grade that I haven’t been training and getting ready for volleyball season. It’s weird. It’s unknown. It’s unfamiliar.

Now, I’m in a very different season of my life—training and getting ready for my first year of teaching. I’m excited, scared, not ready, and ready all in one. It’s weird. It’s unknown. It’s unfamiliar.

I’m in a season of uncertainty.

Before, every single summer I knew what I was getting myself into in the next season. Now, I have no idea what teaching will be like. I have no idea if I’ll like it, or if I’ll be good at it. Some days I think I know what to expect, but most days I’m completely uncertain about how it will all play out.

But here’s a crucial thing that God has been teaching me: Uncertainty doesn’t mean that God is gone.

I’m in a season of uncertainty, but I’m certain that God has established my plans.

In this weird, unknown, and unfamiliar season of my life I’m learning a lot more about who God is.

He is present in our uncertainty. He is working in our lives in uncertainty. He is aware that change is scary, and maybe that’s one reason why He never changes. God is an unmoving rock in the midst of our uncertainty.

“But the Lord has been my stronghold, and my God the rock of my refuge.” –Psalm 94:22

I love this verse. Specifically, that it uses the word “has.” Because it is a reminder that God HAS always been my stronghold. He HAS always been unmoving. He HAS always been the one thing I could always be certain of. I just didn’t see that truth clearly until I was brought into a season of uncertainty.

I believe that oftentimes God works in mysterious ways, but I also think a lot of the work God has done in my life makes complete sense…Almost, in an ironic kind of way.

It took my weakness to realize that God is my strength.

It took my wandering to see that God is my Shepherd.

My unanswered questions taught me that God is in complete control.

My emptiness allowed my heart to be made full.

My strength taught me that I’m not that strong.

A destroyed knee taught me how to fall before Christ in vulnerability.

And my uncertainty revealed that God has always been my rock, my stronghold, and my certainty.

So embrace the uncertainty in your life. Embrace all those pesky, annoying, and painful things, trusting that it is in those things that God is going to reveal Himself to you.

Keep running the race, looking forward to the work that God is going to do in your life in the midst of the unfamiliar. In the midst of the strange unknown. And in the midst of uncertainty.

Be Content

“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for He has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’” –Hebrews 13:5

Be content with what you have.

How often do you find yourself wanting something? Or maybe the better question is this:

How often do you find yourself wanting something other than Jesus?

For me, the answer is all the time. Because I know I need Jesus, and my brain tells me from knowledge of Scripture and past experiences that Jesus is what I need, but yet my longing looks to other places.

There is a difference between NEEDING Jesus and WANTING Jesus. Because we all NEED Jesus. From the most unknown places on the planet, to the biggest cities, to third world countries and first alike—every person from every walk of life NEEDS Jesus.

But we don’t all want Jesus.

It is a huge decision to place your life in Christ’s hand and confess that you NEED Him, but maybe it is even more important to continue to WANT Him long after that decision has been made. And you have to WANT Him more than anything else.

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have.

One of the biggest distractions in life is money. Everything costs something. Our lives revolve around making money and spending it. It is one of the biggest sources of stress and worry. So Jesus steps in and says, “Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have.”

When we aren’t content with what we have, our priorities aren’t straight. Because what we have is everything that we need. What we have is Jesus.

Yet, we still want money. We want financial security. We want good-paying jobs and good hours even if it means being away from our families or it means working and doing something we don’t like to do. We want nice cars and houses. We want to eat three meals a day. We want to have extra cash to go to the movies, go shopping, and go on vacations.

And we often want all these things more than we want Jesus. Then, we wonder where He has gone when we look around and see all our worldly riches fading away.

If you look at the verse again, it doesn’t end with “Be content with what you have.” It ends with, “I will ever leave you nor forsake you.”

Money isn’t consistent. It comes and goes, and usually goes a lot quicker than we would like it to. But Jesus is consistent. Jesus doesn’t just walk into our lives and leave. He won’t leave us. His overflowing goodness never runs out. So why do we choose to want other things that we can never fully have?

You will never be able to fully experience everything that God can offer you if you just NEED Him. The difference between missing out on this experience and experiencing Christ fully is in what you WANT. If you want money and fancy things, good luck. But if you truly and continually want Jesus, you will find a genuine and lasting contentment that can’t be found in money and other things.

It sounds too easy though, right? It seems like a trick; like its too good to be true. But over and over again I hear stories from people about how when they put everything in God’s hands and they looked to Him for what they needed, suddenly their lives changed and things fell into place. I just recently experienced this. I specifically remember a night when I was literally on my knees (as much as it hurt due to never-ending knee problems), begging God to step into my life and fill the empty places. I kid you not, the very next week huge opportunities presented themselves and my life was changed. Money that I didn’t have before was suddenly more than enough. Plans that fell through suddenly turned into an open door for a better opportunity. And most importantly, my heart was full in a way that it hadn’t been for a while.

Maybe it seems silly or strange to you. Maybe it seems fake because it is something you have never experienced. But I pray that one day you do.

Step by step, start changing your attitude towards the things that you want in life. Change your priorities. Stop checking your bank account every other hour waiting to see if something miraculously changed. Then, one day you might wake up and realize that God has given you more than enough of what you NEED and Jesus is really all that you WANT.