Normal Days

 A little girl screams out for her mother

The mother frantically searches her out in the crowd

People are running everywhere

Trying to escape the chaos and the noise

Trying to grasp what just happened

It was a 'normal' day

The explosion went off

And nothing else from that point forward would be normal

Not for that little girl who lost her mother

Not for that husband who lost his wife

Not for that boy that lost a leg

Nothing would ever be the same

My heart breaks for them

Tears filled my eyes as I read the news

Another bombing

Another 60 people dead

Another 300 people injured

My heart breaks

And somehow I go on living through my normal day

Somehow I find the nerve to complain about my normal days

When miles away families would give anything for my normal day

My heart breaks

I sat there and continued to read the article and the stories…

Imagining the franticness of people wondering how life could go on from that point

My heart breaks

I get so caught up in my own life

I ignore all the many other lives 

I forget that a little girl across the world is going to sleep at night thinking about how she will never see her mother on earth here again

My heart breaks.

It’s at this time when I realize my call to pray for the world around me is drastically more important than I previously believed.

My call to find a way to be involved in bringing healing to the hurting in this world is vital in bringing hope to hopeless hearts.

My heart breaks, and I pray.

I am Not a Musician

You know that thing that you wish you could do but no matter how hard you try, you just can't? Or maybe that’s just me.... Either way, I've always had this dream of being someone with an Adele-amazing voice and other musical talents and traveling the world singing in different places every night...I mean it isn't exactly the only dream of mine, but there is a part of me that has always wished I was musically talented enough to actually do something like that.

I took piano lessons growing up and then guitar hero came around and my musical career really skyrocketed... Here's a secret: there were probably multiple occasions when I was home alone that I would set up guitar hero with a mic stand and a guitar in hand and pretend that I was on tour... I wasn't just playing the game; I was really living out my dream right there in the living room... Hoping that no one would come home for a little while so I would have time to get to the encore that the make believe crowds obviously always wanted. This is no joke, I seriously pretended that guitar hero was a real life thing. Keep in mind this isn't when I was in like 5th grade, this is possibly within the last 5 years... But guitar hero dreams can't live on forever.

Reality hit. I clearly couldn't be a world famous musician forever, the game ended, and I realized I'm actually not as musically gifted as the Wii makes me seem/feel. Yet still, I've tried writing many songs. I've driven the long way home when I'm by myself just so I can get some more singing practice at the top of my lungs. I've recently even tried to pick up on playing the guitar. And there is still no sign of a record label picking me up anytime soon.

Although this may be written in a slightly sarcastic and joking manner, I'm dead serious when I say I love singing and I've always wished I was good at it so I could make an album, get famous, and travel around on tour.

I am sharing all of this for a reason. Musical talent simply is just not something that God gifted me with. He's gifted me with other things, but not that.

I came across a verse the other day that really got me thinking about this.

"Like clouds and wind without rain is a man who boasts of a gift he does not give." -Proverbs 25:14

This verse very well could be applied to the physical things we can actually give, and how we might boast about how much and what we have but not actually follow through with giving them away. But it could also be applied to spiritual gifts we have. In both 2 Peter (Ch. 2) and Jude (Ch.1) there is a discussion about false prophets and teachers, and the writers use the references of "waterless clouds" and "waterless springs" to speak of how those people bragged about their spiritual knowledge and gifts, but didn't actually show signs of using them.

If you've been given a gift that you aren't using, it's like being a waterless cloud. You have the appearance of those gifts, you might speak and brag about them, but what good is that doing if your gifts aren't actually being used? Like clouds and wind, when it appears like it's going to rain in the midst of the desert but then it doesn't...

So how does my failure as a musician tie in with this Scripture? Well as I said, this verse really got me thinking. Like I wanted so badly to be a gifted musician, sometimes I wish so badly that maybe I had different spiritual gifts. Maybe I could be a better speaker and be bolder. Maybe if I could be a stronger leader. Maybe if I could be more of a people person and could be more relational with others. Maybe if I could actually sing I could be some amazing worship leader. But these aren't really areas where God gifted me.

And the thing is, if I get too caught up in my weaknesses and the things I'm not gifted at, I could really be abusing the gifts that I do have by not using them. I could be "clouds and wind without rain" if I don't at least try to use the gifts I do have to serve in God's Kingdom.

Being caught up in your weaknesses prohibits you from using your strengths.

Focusing on the talents that you don't have, lessens your ability to serve God with the talents that you do have.

I may not become a world famous worship leader, but God has gifted me in other ways. This doesn't mean I have to give up singing and trying to learn to play the guitar, it just means I have to accept that maybe that isn't God's purpose for my life. Who knows, maybe He'll open that door for me eventually. But, for right now my job is to use the gifts that He has given me all for His glory and in His name.

The same goes for you. As you’re reading this, maybe you’ve been thinking about gifts and talents that you wish you had, but I bet you’re also wondering about the gifts that you do have. God has uniquely blessed you and gifted you in ways that you may not even be aware of yet. So don't be discouraged by the gifts you don't have. Don't focus your energy on trying to attain something that God hasn't necessarily planned for your life. Instead, use what God has gifted you with. We are God’s hands and feet here on earth, and I think we often underestimate our place in God’s plan. He’s given you gifts for a reason, now go use them!

"Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man given. Be grateful. Conceit is self given. Be careful." -John Wooden

The Struggle Bus

If you've kept up with my blog at all, chances are you've noticed I quote Tenth Avenue North quite a bit... like a lot actually. But, it's mostly because their lyrics speak much better than my words ever will. 

Anyways, this weekend I got the chance to go to one of their concerts. Their music and ministry always delivers such a strong message and always hits home with my heart. But one specific thing that Mike Donehey (the lead singer) said at the concert really stuck with me:

"Christianity is not a competition, it's a celebration."

Along with that are these lyrics, "hallelujah, we are free to struggle. We aren't struggling to be free."

Mike went on to talk about how there is no reason for competing in God's Kingdom. We're all the same, we all are desperate for Christ to pour into our lives, whether we recognize that fact or not. We're all struggling day to day, but we've all already been freed.

It reminded me a lot of what I've been dealing with in my spiritual walk this past month.

Last week I wrote about how God choosing to love us is a truly vulnerable love, and that's one way we can love him back, by being vulnerable. Part of that vulnerability is in our struggles and I love how these lyrics put it. It isn't us making it through our struggles that frees us in Christ. We're already free in Christ. The guilt and the shame from the things that we've been through are already broken chains that we just have to choose to let go and leave behind. We're free to struggle.

Hearing this message unites us as believers: we're all struggling. That's why there is no competition in Christianity. Sadly in the church it seems like that is what things come down to sometimes. Walls go up and the race is on for who can be the best Christian who has it all together. But that isn't what following Jesus is.

I love Tenth Avenue North concerts because everyone gathers, lets down their walls, and worships God out of their brokenness and despite their struggles because they're already free in the arms of Christ.

Following Jesus isn't a race to the top or a catwalk showing off who has it all together. It's actually the exact opposite because honestly speaking, at the risk of offending someone, I think the human race pretty much fails at everything. We kinda suck sometimes. But we can still celebrate that we're free to come in last place and still be loved. We can be at the bottom of the food chain and still receive all of God's blessings. God loves the losers. And with that in mind, in the community of Christ the competition has to stop. Instead, believers should come together to celebrate that our struggles unite us and our weaknesses allow God to bind us together as a community grounded in Him.

The struggle bus is just that: its a bus. It's a multiple passenger vehicle. It isn't meant to be ridden alone. Its difficult to adopt that mindset, especially when our problems seem like too much of a burden or something we should be ashamed about in the face of other Christians. I imagine the church would experience some drastic changes if we learned to celebrate and share our struggles rather than hide them away for the sake of appearance and competition. 

Maybe you feel like this message doesn't apply to you... But I'm convinced otherwise. Whether you're struggling now or you've been through it already, you're going to struggle with something at some point in time. So, you might as well hop on the struggle bus now and begin sharing and celebrating your need for Christ with the people around you.