Just Stop Thinking

My brain never stops. I overanalyze and overthink every single thing. I think about the "what ifs" and the "buts" and the "maybes" and the "whys" and everything else all the time.

If this sounds like you at all then you can relate...

I know if I would just shut my brain off every now and again I could get through my days with a little more energy and less anxiety... But guess what? I think about doing that too and it just doesn't happen. My mind doesn't know how to stop. Sure, there isn’t anything wrong with thinking. It is excessive thinking that becomes dangerous. It’s dangerous because it can instantly change a good attitude into a bad one, it can cause you to judge a lot of situations and misinterpret things, and it can be the cause of a lot of unnecessary stress.

I’ve experienced all of these results from over-thinking….

It is exhausting.

I have a tragically difficult time trying to fall asleep. Most nights I lay awake just staring at the wall for at least an hour. Oftentimes, I start praying but even then my mind keeps running circles and talking and talking and talking. Sometimes I listen to music and try to use that to distract me. Or I'll find some show on Netflix and see if can fall asleep watching that. But last night I tried something different.

I had already been trying to fall asleep for something like 45 minutes. I literally kept repeating the words "go to sleep" in my head as if that would actually help my situation. It didn't, until I changed the words.

"Peace be still, and know that I am God."

(words from a song by Rush of Fools called ‘Peace be Still.’ It can also be found in Scripture- Mark 4:39, Matthew 8)

I kept repeating that simple statement over and over again in my mind. A few times I got sidetracked, but as soon as I did I remembered those words again....

"Peace be still...I am God."

It couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 minutes later that I finally fell asleep.

It seems so simple. God is God and I can experience peace because of that. There doesn’t have to be complexity in that statement at all. It can be simple if we make it simple: God is in control. I’ve written other blogs about this before… Mostly because it is one of my biggest struggles in my walk with Christ. But this small, simplistic statement allows me to set my priorities straight over and over again.

“Peace be still, I am God.”

Just let life be simple. Let God be God. Stop thinking about every little detail and let things be. Don’t even attempt to control what God already has in his hands… It isn’t worth the stress. Just be still, fill your mind with the truth that God is God, you are His, and stop thinking about everything else.

We were made to not only glorify God, but to enjoy Him to the fullest. It’s a tragedy in my life when my overthinking keeps me from enjoying him fully. My prayer tonight is that everyday my thoughts become more tuned into His stillness, and less tuned into everything else.   

If I'm truly aimless because I'm anchored to Christ, my thoughts have to be centered on finding joy and peace in who God is. 

Peace is all over the place in Scripture. Specifically in Psalms it talks about how peace is actually a blessing from God. 

"The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace." 

(Psalm 29:11)

Don't deny yourself the blessing of peace because you're too busy thinking about everything else. Peace is right at your fingertips. If you can stop holding on to everything else, you might just find that holding onto God's peace is simpler than it seems. 

Questions and Choices

Are you asking the right questions? People always say there is no such thing as a stupid question, but maybe it's possible that we aren't asking the right questions. Maybe we avoid certain questions because we aren't prepared for the answers. We're scared to get answers that might shine painful truth on the choices we make.

Entering my second semester of my sophomore year, I've made some pretty big decisions in my life. One of those decisions was making the personal commitment to not drink till I actually turn 21. Let's be honest, for college students, even Christian college students, this is not a huge norm.
I made this decision a long time ago, way before I even started college, but I didn't realize how difficult it might be to stick with it. There are definitely times when I wonder what is even the point of my decision.

But that wondering ends when I start asking the right questions. The problem with the way our minds often work is that we tend to ask questions so that we get the answers we want.

What's so bad about drinking before you're 21? A couple years won't make a difference right?
Honestly, a couple years doesn't make a big difference and it isn't my place to judge anyone on their own choices and what they decide is best for them anyways.The point is when it comes to decisions there is a better kind of question.
Instead of asking what's so bad about this? Or, what's wrong with this?
Ask, how is this glorifying God? How is this helping me grow closer to Christ?

One of the most common Bible verses is,

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." -1 Corinthians 10:31

We say it all the time. 
But is it really on our minds when it comes to the choices we make?
How are the choices you make glorifying God? 

How is not forgiving someone allowing you to grow closer to Christ?
How is going out and getting drunk glorifying God?
How is cheating on a test bringing glory to Him?
How is holding a grudge glorifying God?

How are the choices you make helping you in your walk with Christ?

Trust me, I know it's hard. I understand peer pressure. I understand wanting to have fun. I understand sometimes it's hard to know what's really good for us. Really though, if it isn't glorifying God it probably isn't good for us. That's the bottom line. But that's also the line we tend to skim over in our minds. We push it to the back and file it away, and only bring out the thought when it seems convenient. Convenience is a lie. We think convenience is good for us, but sometimes convenience gets in the way of serving the one true God.
Don't make decisions based on convenience. Make decisions based on what is glorifying the God that gave you this freedom in the first place. 

Living life anchored in Christ means basing your choices on what it will take to grow closer to Him. 

Anchored Amidst Chaos

"For God is not a God of disorder, but of peace." - 1 Corinthians 14:33

Anchored Amidst Chaos

Life moves way too fast.

People are way too busy.

There is always something going on.

It’s chaotic.

The way God moves is a mystery.

God is alive.

God is present.

But we miss it,

It’s chaotic.

I slow down for just a second.

I stop and wait.

Until I realize something else is going on.

God is moving.

It is crazy amazing, but not destructively chaotic.

It’s beautifully chaotic.

Taken out of the world.

Stepping back and grabbing onto something more.

I realize that living in the chaos with God,

Is so much better than living in the chaos alone.

It’s beautifully chaotic.

Why be anchored in a moving world that will fail you over and over again?

Be anchored in a moving God instead.

Be aimlessly bound to God, not knowing where He’s going,

But anchored to Him and following where He leads anyways.

That is beautifully chaotic.

Maybe it’s time to let go.

Maybe it’s time to hold on.

Possibly it’s time to do both.

Not knowing, that is chaotic.

I worry too much about what I don’t know.

Forgetting about what I do know:

God is in complete control.

Maybe that’s not really chaotic at all.

Let go of the unknown, of the fear, and the doubt.

Hold steadfastly to our anchor, the all-knowing God.

As I stand anchored, I still see the chaos,

But I also see God, who brings peace right in the midst of it.

This is a beautiful chaos.

Live Life Anchored

I’m excited to announce that for the first time in my life I actually stuck to one of my New Year’s resolutions. It only took 19 years to finally do it, but that’s one resolution down and hopefully more to go. That simple resolution was blogging, which has been quite the experience.

One of my very first posts was "Hello 2015." I read it today, and WOW. So, so much has happened since then. If you were to tell me about some of the things I would face in 2015, I wouldn't have believed it. I've been spending so much time in reflection lately, really trying to think about how far I've come, but yet how there's still so much more room for growth. But as I read the blog I posted a year ago, I read it from the heart and mind of a changed person. In a way, I’m a different me than I was last year. I think when you hit what you think is rock bottom, you have no option but to experience some sort of inner changes.

 2015 was just one thing after another. For those that don’t know, this year I struggled a lot with anxiety and depression that I often couldn’t explain. In the midst of that mental battle, life happened. When I already couldn’t understand the depth of the things I was feeling, I was forced to face more.

But there was God in every single situation.

I just couldn’t understand, and I really don’t understand still, why God is so good to me. There I was, living a wonderful life, but still hurting so much inside in a way that I could never explain. I felt so guilty and ashamed all the time. Why should I grieve and struggle and fear when God is so good? Why do I feel so much pain when God has blessed me with so much? My mind was my own demon…But there God was… And when God shows up, there is hope.

It has by far been the most challenging year of my life. Which I'm actually very thankful for, because I can also say in a way it's been one of the best. A very well known worship song called Holy Spirit, by Bryan and Katie Torwalt, says what I think is one of the simplest but most profound things a person should ever desire:

 God's presence.

"Let us become more aware of Your presence. Let us experience the glory of Your goodness."

In 2015, I think I experienced God's presence more than I ever have before in my life. Granted, it may not have even been that much. But it was huge to me. And God may be present in your life in ways very different than He was in mine this past year.

It's 2016 now. With the last year that I had, I can't make any guesses as to what could happen this year. And I don't need to.

Life isn't a guessing game.

Life is a trusting game.

It's about trusting in what God has in store for your life.... No matter the pain, heartbreak, doubt, and fear. So I'm not going to guess what's next. I'm not going to plan my year out. I'm going to take it a single day at a time and trust. I pray that every day of 2016 brings me one step closer to God and where He wants me to be. If God is moving, I'm following right along.

I pray the same for you. Let 2016 be the year that the church makes God's presence in this world known. Let this be the year that you relentlessly pursue a real relationship with Christ. Let this be the year that you can look back and realize just how incredible God's hand can work in your life.

Let 2016 be the year that you experience God's presence and goodness like never before.

I actually thought about ending my blog, considering it's been a year and I really feel like sometimes I just don't know what else to write about anymore. But honestly, if this blog has impacted anyone's life, it has been mine. As I said before, depression is something that hit me pretty hard this year. But keeping my blog going kept me focused on finding God in the darkness and the struggles. Its challenged me to really listen to God's voice in every life situation and seek His presence. I needed this blog this year, because it gave me something to cling to when things weren't going my way. It gave me a way to find God in my experiences and share those. It gave me a voice and it helped me find other voices that were experiencing some of the same things. So, I've decided to continue blogging in 2016 for those reasons.

I honestly have no clue in what direction this blog will be headed. I don’t have anything planned, because I don’t even know where my own life is headed next. But, as the experiences flood in and God moves, I hope to be able to continue to share with those that have been reading. However, inspired by the journey, the struggles, the hope, and the changes I experienced in 2015, I will be changing the name of my blog to “Aimlessly Anchored.”

Now, I do realize that is definitely an oxymoron. The purpose of an anchor is to keep a ship from drifting aimlessly… So how can something be aimless if it’s anchored? It can’t; unless it is anchored in something that is moving. As I’ve seen this last year, God is always moving, and He’s still on the move. As Hebrews 6:19 says, in Christ we have a “sure and steadfast anchor of the soul.”

Or, in The Message Version, it says

“We run for our very lives to God having every reason to grab the promised hope with both hands and never let go. It’s an unbreakable spiritual lifeline, reaching past all appearances right to the very presence of God where Jesus, running on ahead of us, has taken up his permanent post as high priest for us, in the order of Melchizedek.”

There’s no way I would have made it through this last year without God as an anchor for me to hold onto. Being anchored in God doesn’t mean you won’t move. It doesn’t mean the storms won’t come and the waves won’t crash against you. But, it does give you a lifeline to get through the storm. It does allow you to move and follow as God moves. As I wrote earlier, I don’t know my plans. I’m aimless. Despite my wandering, by God’s grace I’m also anchored. My only plan this year is to be aimlessly anchored in Him.

For those that have been reading and following my blog through the ups and downs of this year, thank you. Thank you again to everyone that supported me and encouraged me to keep moving forward through my health struggles this year. Thank you for the prayers, the friendship, and the inspiration.

God is moving. If you aren’t anchored in Him, you might miss it. I pray that together we can cling to God as our anchor this year and experience His presence in ways like never before.

Again, thank you for reading and may God bless your 2016.