Live Life Anchored

I’m excited to announce that for the first time in my life I actually stuck to one of my New Year’s resolutions. It only took 19 years to finally do it, but that’s one resolution down and hopefully more to go. That simple resolution was blogging, which has been quite the experience.

One of my very first posts was "Hello 2015." I read it today, and WOW. So, so much has happened since then. If you were to tell me about some of the things I would face in 2015, I wouldn't have believed it. I've been spending so much time in reflection lately, really trying to think about how far I've come, but yet how there's still so much more room for growth. But as I read the blog I posted a year ago, I read it from the heart and mind of a changed person. In a way, I’m a different me than I was last year. I think when you hit what you think is rock bottom, you have no option but to experience some sort of inner changes.

 2015 was just one thing after another. For those that don’t know, this year I struggled a lot with anxiety and depression that I often couldn’t explain. In the midst of that mental battle, life happened. When I already couldn’t understand the depth of the things I was feeling, I was forced to face more.

But there was God in every single situation.

I just couldn’t understand, and I really don’t understand still, why God is so good to me. There I was, living a wonderful life, but still hurting so much inside in a way that I could never explain. I felt so guilty and ashamed all the time. Why should I grieve and struggle and fear when God is so good? Why do I feel so much pain when God has blessed me with so much? My mind was my own demon…But there God was… And when God shows up, there is hope.

It has by far been the most challenging year of my life. Which I'm actually very thankful for, because I can also say in a way it's been one of the best. A very well known worship song called Holy Spirit, by Bryan and Katie Torwalt, says what I think is one of the simplest but most profound things a person should ever desire:

 God's presence.

"Let us become more aware of Your presence. Let us experience the glory of Your goodness."

In 2015, I think I experienced God's presence more than I ever have before in my life. Granted, it may not have even been that much. But it was huge to me. And God may be present in your life in ways very different than He was in mine this past year.

It's 2016 now. With the last year that I had, I can't make any guesses as to what could happen this year. And I don't need to.

Life isn't a guessing game.

Life is a trusting game.

It's about trusting in what God has in store for your life.... No matter the pain, heartbreak, doubt, and fear. So I'm not going to guess what's next. I'm not going to plan my year out. I'm going to take it a single day at a time and trust. I pray that every day of 2016 brings me one step closer to God and where He wants me to be. If God is moving, I'm following right along.

I pray the same for you. Let 2016 be the year that the church makes God's presence in this world known. Let this be the year that you relentlessly pursue a real relationship with Christ. Let this be the year that you can look back and realize just how incredible God's hand can work in your life.

Let 2016 be the year that you experience God's presence and goodness like never before.

I actually thought about ending my blog, considering it's been a year and I really feel like sometimes I just don't know what else to write about anymore. But honestly, if this blog has impacted anyone's life, it has been mine. As I said before, depression is something that hit me pretty hard this year. But keeping my blog going kept me focused on finding God in the darkness and the struggles. Its challenged me to really listen to God's voice in every life situation and seek His presence. I needed this blog this year, because it gave me something to cling to when things weren't going my way. It gave me a way to find God in my experiences and share those. It gave me a voice and it helped me find other voices that were experiencing some of the same things. So, I've decided to continue blogging in 2016 for those reasons.

I honestly have no clue in what direction this blog will be headed. I don’t have anything planned, because I don’t even know where my own life is headed next. But, as the experiences flood in and God moves, I hope to be able to continue to share with those that have been reading. However, inspired by the journey, the struggles, the hope, and the changes I experienced in 2015, I will be changing the name of my blog to “Aimlessly Anchored.”

Now, I do realize that is definitely an oxymoron. The purpose of an anchor is to keep a ship from drifting aimlessly… So how can something be aimless if it’s anchored? It can’t; unless it is anchored in something that is moving. As I’ve seen this last year, God is always moving, and He’s still on the move. As Hebrews 6:19 says, in Christ we have a “sure and steadfast anchor of the soul.”

Or, in The Message Version, it says

“We run for our very lives to God having every reason to grab the promised hope with both hands and never let go. It’s an unbreakable spiritual lifeline, reaching past all appearances right to the very presence of God where Jesus, running on ahead of us, has taken up his permanent post as high priest for us, in the order of Melchizedek.”

There’s no way I would have made it through this last year without God as an anchor for me to hold onto. Being anchored in God doesn’t mean you won’t move. It doesn’t mean the storms won’t come and the waves won’t crash against you. But, it does give you a lifeline to get through the storm. It does allow you to move and follow as God moves. As I wrote earlier, I don’t know my plans. I’m aimless. Despite my wandering, by God’s grace I’m also anchored. My only plan this year is to be aimlessly anchored in Him.

For those that have been reading and following my blog through the ups and downs of this year, thank you. Thank you again to everyone that supported me and encouraged me to keep moving forward through my health struggles this year. Thank you for the prayers, the friendship, and the inspiration.

God is moving. If you aren’t anchored in Him, you might miss it. I pray that together we can cling to God as our anchor this year and experience His presence in ways like never before.

Again, thank you for reading and may God bless your 2016.