He is Fighting for You

Well, here I am exhausted both physically and mentally, sick from pain medications, but yet still sitting in pain. I’m coming off of my 4^th knee surgery since last September and this one is hitting me hard. At first, I thought this one would be easier since I at least knew what to expect, but it is absolutely the opposite. I think it’s because I truly almost have no fight left within me. It brings me back to the verse that got me through my first surgery and infection last year…

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” –Exodus 14:14

But the problem is this: If I stop fighting, it means I have to trust that God truly is fighting for me. It also means I have to be okay with however He chooses to direct my life.

Maybe I’ve been fighting so long for something, that wasn’t meant to be…

I’ll be honest, this is the struggle that has been breaking my heart. I love volleyball. I’ve worked so hard to get where I am now. I’ve spent countless hours of time playing volleyball, and prioritizing it over a lot of other things in my life… But maybe this is God’s way of showing me it is time to stop fighting for something that He doesn’t want for me. It is one of the scariest thoughts that has been sitting in the back of my mind for the last month. I honestly still have no answer. I desperately want to believe that volleyball isn’t over for me, especially since I haven’t even been able to play over the last two years. However, I also desperately want to go where God leads me, and that is what I need to start fighting for.

If you read my blog last week, you may remember that I wrote a little bit about the story of Jonah. And there’s another very simple and straightforward lesson from Jonah that I didn’t mention: Don’t run away from the direction God is leading you.

Right now, God is leading me down a path that I truly don’t really want to go down. But, I think that I’ve been fighting against it for so long that I’m completely worn out now. Running away from what God has for you can be exhausting; because God will win in the end one way or another.

Tonight, I am asking two things of my faithful blog followers:

1)    The first is for prayer. I have a lot on my mind, a long recovery ahead, and lot of big decisions to make. I really have no idea what God wants me to do with this road block He’s placed in my life, so prayers for that would be awesome. Thank you in advance!

2)    The second is that you would do some soul searching in your own life and determine if there is something you’ve been fighting so hard for that maybe God wants you to let go. If there is, I can’t promise you ease, I can’t promise you answers, and I can’t promise that you will like where God is leading you. But I can promise this, and this is what I will be holding onto this week as well: God is with you, He is near, and no matter what it is that you are facing, God is fighting for you.